"Kasturi, you dont need a man to complete you"...she wrote...! I understood her concern but I dont need a man nor a woman to complete me. I am complete in myself. Broken in places, unsure, confused, wild, immature, sensitive, strong...am all of this, and i am complete. My sense of identity is intact and in place. What is it that made her think i wasn't complete? Because i loved too much? Because i gave too much?? I loved doing that, loved loving, loved giving and thats what i did. But that does not mean i am dependent on anyone to be able to define myself or give meaning to this thing called "ME".
I've met and seen people who need that support, who need to lean on someone to go on, to look into the mirror and recognize the person staring back. Its sad. Just like Charles Cooley says - I am not who i think i am, i am not what you think i am, i am what i think, you think, i am!! We normally form a perception of ourselves depending on what 'we' feel others think of us. For women, they just loose themselves somewhere, get dissolved.... they dream dreams that their eyes didn't see. This is not to say that women are so selfless in their love, dedication that they forget themselves. I feel its quiet the contrary. Our first love is always ourselves and yet we are scared of this person called 'me'. Try staying all by yourself without any outside contact, no TV, music, people, phones, internet. Beyond a few hours we cant tolerate living all by ourselves. We dread to be left alone, to find ourselves in a situation where we are not wanted or not loved by another. Women perhaps are ready to pay any price not to see themselves in that situation, the cost - your SELF.
If only we stop being afraid of ourselves, maybe, we can belong somewhere, with someone..... with ourselves.
