Amazing how we've lived a different life being a different person...yes we change..and only once in a while do we sit back and wonder about the person that we were and the person we have come to be. What a journey...!! Depending on our disposition at that time it makes us sad or happy to see the old us disappear and go...the kasturi that was!! There are times i talk to her, ask her where is she and why doesn't she want to be a part of the person that i am. Then she tells me of the hurt and pain and dejection and the impressions that her young mind went through. She talks about her fears...in process makes me realize that she's left some of them with me, they are somewhere deep down,hidden but they are there..very much there and i realize how they sometimes take over and govern the way i think and feel. I tell her about my worries..things that she had never thougth about. Life has taken a full 360 degree turn. I can see the immaturity and the innocence in her..something which has been lost now. We sit and chat for a while...i share my dreams with her and she tells me about the feeling of being where she is..cause tomorrow i'd be sitting there, talking to yet another kasturi, so different....!
We all change...some of us accept it (maybe because a lot of times they dont think about it) and for some it makes them unhappy and leaves a longing to go back to the old them...they feel lost and disoriented and somehow not comfortable in the mind that they now sit in! It happens...! Its happening with me and with him. Both of us have lost ourselves somewhere down the line and we go looking and searching for something that isnt our's anymore..its gone and its gone for good! It makes both of us lonely and leaves us with this lost feeling inside.
Now that we are lost...can we ride together..and perhaps find something new in our search for that which is gone and lost.........being lost without you makes the journey even more lonely..!
Lets go for a ride!
1 comment:
Change is good Kash...Don't be afraid. I made a list of things I'd like to change about me. I made those changes very consciously. And am thankful for that. You and he will learn to adapt to the changes. Just keep track of the changes. You wont stop loving each other merely because of the changes that occur. You will love each other FOR the changes. Trust me. Today G loves me for the changes I've undergone. I don't really miss everything about the old shalini. I know more about the world than her :) She is too naive and wont be able to survive here. So be prepared and welcome the new kash with open arms. She will be wiser and lovelier than the old kash :)
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