Gold rimmed. Bright. Sheer. Beautiful.....is how a marriage looks and seems in the head, before it happens to you. It is also how the heart feels....brimming with joy and dreams and happiness...a whole new world waiting for you...finally when you are on the other side and call yourself 'married'. The gold covered, pure thing inside of you is waiting for a lifetime of waiting and expectations to come true. You will finally belong, with someone. You smile a lot, laugh a lot, suddenly you want to meet your friends and spend time with family. All of them notice the glow on your face, the generous smiles.....unmarried friends look at you with a tinge of jealousy...biding their time and telling themselves, someday it'll be 'their' day.
Getting married is probably the most thought about topic for a girl. Even when she has her very first crush...she is convinced that this is the person she is going to marry...its him she is going to live happily ever after with. She moves on as she grows up....she tries giving a face to the one she'll finally marry....always waiting for him...always second guessing who it will be. The dreams are all the same....the beautiful clothes, happy faces, loving husband....a special feeling...of knowing that it is your day today..that you've never looked so beautiful, that no man has ever loved anyone as much as your husband will love you and no woman could possibly love any man like you love yours.
The more i talk to my married friends the more i feel like....like....there was a lot of dreamy fog, the kind you see in movie songs during a dream sequence...and you were running through it, happy and sure of finding a wonderful new world....but now you are out of it...the fog has lifted and there is a bland reality staring at you. The gold rimmed cloth is torn and tattered and worn out...the bright colours have faded and it doesnt feel like silk anymore....! You are confused and try to adjust to your surroundings...taken by surprise....you ask yourself...have i come to the right place? Most of the times, life goes on, you fall in love with a khadi cloth which may not be as soft as silk, not as bright but still looks good. But sometimes not....sometimes the worn out cloth leaves scars and bruises that are difficult to mend...you long to see the glitter of gold that you loved so much...but dont...! It is this disappointment of not seeing that precious glitter that crushes something inside you....and you know nothing will ever be the same again.
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