Heartfelt II

She sat by the window...the grill obstructing her view at places. Raindrops kept falling on her bare hands and a part of her t-shirt that was touching the grill was soaking wet. But she didn't realize any of this. She just sat there...not thinking...not dreaming...not sad and neither happy. Lazy times. A rare leisure.

A phone call brought her back from nothingness. It was an old school friend, someone she'd not spoken to in years. She lived abroad now and was down for a couple of weeks. Standing by the window and talking and laughing, Shruti suddenly became aware of the heavy rain and the water soaked hem of her t-shirt. She realized how shabby she looked and thought she should finally wear the green kurti she bought 2 months ago but had left it unpacked. She needed a haircut....badly. A lunch plan was made. She would be seeing Deepty after ages...she wanted to look good..feel good.

Over lunch, Shruti lost track of time. They spoke of school days...their class teacher and principal...old classmates. They exchanged funny stories and for a couple of hours went back to morning assembly, recess periods, pulling skirts to make them shorter and the vada pav stall at the corner. It was easy..easy to talk, to forget...to let go. Sometimes when you get lost in today...yesterday does a pretty good job of leading you back. Shruti spoke about her today....and somehow it was easier to talk about it than she had imagined. Deepty spoke of her experiences...not very similar to Shruti's but not too different either. "You know Shruti, we give the keys to people too soon...the keys to drive us crazy". This simple line stuck in Shruti's head all the way back home. She kept thinking about it and for the first time in more than one and a half year, she told herself something that she should have long time back - Its over.

Is this how freedom smells? The damp air rising up and giving her a sudden burst into fresh air. She felt like she was in a meadow and not between an impossible traffic jam. She'd lifted this heavy package since so long..now it was gone..she had dropped it and she felt light, her shoulders slumped in relief and she let out a sigh. She couldn't stop smiling. The smile slowly turned into a laugh. For all the times....the beautiful beautiful memories he'd left...for all the kind words...all the caring and all the fun. Raj seemed like a different person all together, all of a sudden. He stood for all that she'd wished for, hoped for and longed for. She chased him, pinned him down and pushed him...to belong, to hold, to stay. But, it was over. Finally, it was over.

The auto rickshaw had a mirror. Shruti leaned a little towards her right and caught an image of herself...and smiled.