1/25/08

A lot can happen over a coffee..!

No, my face doesnt always show what's behind it, not any longer. Fear looms inside me, i supress it and smile at him. I can't put in words the sense of loss and distance i feel while he sits next to me, an arm's length away. We talk a lot about nothing, i smile a lot. He's telling me about how much fun he had the previous night with his friends. I smile again, because i am not a part of his story and yet strangely i am. I reach out and touch him, hold his hand......'he seems real'...then why isn't he? I can hear him...but why isn't he talking? I'm crying..why can't he see it? He laughs and i hurt.

I smile yet again, swallow the tears and plead the fear to hush up and leave.

"Do you want coffee?"

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