Horn ok please...!!

Kasturi's thoughts while coming back home from office - "I hope i haven't made a mistake in the estimate i sent...what was the amount..?... jute bag laden, oily hair tied..the bharatiya naari launches herself into the street...without looking to her right or left. She is the queen...we, the idiots better make way for her, she is taking vegetables to feed her family. UHHHHHH #^&(*%^$^#^%(*&(*....irritating women..!! Have you seen these women, hurtling their kids by their hands..pulling the arm apart while shaking them in rage for not staying close enough or running through busy crowded streets? These women themselves need a crash course that reads "crossing the road - do's and don'ts"

The traffic in Mumbai is pretty organized you know...compared to other cities....not that I've been to too many, but so i hear.! People here are disciplined, except the fact that they are a 100 meters ahead and right in the middle of the road, ready to pounce even before the signal light turns green. We are a pretty well behaved cohort. Lanes are marked. Most...Most roads have a divider that makes driving and focusing so much easier...well...you can let your thoughts run wherever they want to..almost. The inside lanes are the problem areas. There are no dividers. Vegetable vendors and cobblers and fruit wallas are sitting on either side of the road. Unthinking, unlooking(i know there is no such word), self involved people shuttle through these streets..rather narrow lanes, with such confidence and spontaniety...its amazing. You cannot think of driving through mumbai without hurtling abuses...!! A huge tanker will find its way somehow through these kutti kutti roads and the butt of an autorickshaw..struggling to poke its nose into the next lane to take a U-turn will cause a traffic jam. One lane is not moving because the rickshaw is stuck in the middle..like a croocked arm..neither in this lane or that. The tanker guy honks incessantly...and so are a hundred others. The bikers are nudging and manuvering their vehicals from the side stree..almost crushing the vendors. Pedistrians continue to ignore this whole mess as if saying "Its none of my business" and go on with life completely unaware of blaring horns, the yelling people and stalling any attempt of the traffic to move ahead..!!

When you finally do manage to get out of this chaos....it feels like.....finally being able to rip apart the extremely tight shirt you were wearing. As you take it off, you feel the breath coming back to you..you let out a sigh aaaaahhhhhh....FINALLY...!

Poem - for him..!

And then the song birds flew,

Leaving just you n me and the dew,

The silence, Silver…

And while it lingered, what we said, was gold.

A shallow breeze and a twinkle,

Soft breath of my body, your eyes meeting mine.

Thousands of years ago, or is it just here and now,

Today seems forever, can you tell me how?!

Letter to my father..!

There's one sad truth in life I've found
While journeying east and west -
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best.
~Ella Wheeler Wilcox

I fight with him. Argue. Answer back. I am rude. Inconsiderate. Rash. He is patient. Loving. Caring. He listens. Supports. Kind. My Father. My friend.

I remember my dad teaching me geography with the help of a football. He took me to a balcony and switched on the light on one side and showed me how the earth moves...and rotates and how seasons change. I've never forgotten that lesson. And many other's that were not deliberately taught but things i learnt. From him.

I know the sacrifices you've made daddy. The life of a party now sits at home and just wants his children around. We don't always oblige. Running away in our own worlds, leaving you waiting for us to come back. To share. Today, i just want to let you know that, we value and understand these sacrifices and this love you shower on us. Forgive us our youth and inexperience.

FATHER & MOTHER - I couldn't have given a better name for GOD. I love you daddy...always always will.

And then it rained.....

Soft cautious feet find their way through the muck...avoiding as much of it as possible....looking down intently for any puddles that might splash water...there's a slight drizzle and she is trying to get there faster but the muck is....uhhhhhh.....!! Finally she makes it to the bus stop...the shelter provides some relief but not completely. She looks around and wonders if she's at the right place. Is this the same place? So many years have gone by and she cant quiet remember if this was the bus stop or the one after this. So many changes have taken place, the city hardly looks the way it used to. She smiles at the thought of herself more than 9 years ago standing at this very road, waiting for the bus to take her to her office. That was 1991...9 years? Has it been that long..?! So many years...wasted, lived, cherished, dismissed!! She stands there, her thoughts in another lifetime.

There were hardly any passerby's and the few who crossed the street hardly took notice of the 45 year old lean and short woman standing at the bus stop with a canvas bag on her shoulder. Padmini had lived most of her adult life in Pune. She came to Mumbai to give a job interview, didn't get the job but got herself a husband. Shishir and Padmini settled down to the fast paced, zero family time kind of a life of Mumbai. Padmini was never madly in love with Shishir, she just knew that he was the kind of man she wanted to marry. Shishir was responsible, sensible, practical and he was crazy about Padmini. Padmini saw it as a 'wise' decision more than anything...!

There are certain things that one can't talk about. Something inside of you always stops you from taking that plunge, from giving your 'all' to someone. Padmini held on, too tight..to herself. Shishir showered her with everything he had...and it wasn't until about two years after their marriage that Shishir realized how little he knew his wife. The more he showered her with love, the more she withdrew from him. They divorced in 1991 on 21st May, same day that Rajiv Gandhi died.

Nine years later, Padmini was more in love with Shishir than she'd ever been. Sometimes it takes someone to turn their backs on you for you to realize how much you leaned on them. Padmini moved back to Pune after her divorce and told herself she was much happier without the chains and burdens of marriage. Shishir took up a job in Hyderabad and bravely nursed a broken heart.

A few years later, a matter related to property came up, a joint property that Shishir and Padmini owned. Shishir flew down from Hyderabad, they met at the lawyers and later exchanged stories over a cup of coffee. A lot happened over coffee. She found a friend in him. He told her funny stories about his work and the people around him. She hardly stopped laughing. They parted on a promise to keep in touch.

Padmini had never felt this way before. At 39, she was in love with a man who was her husband for three years...a man who had loved her no end. It was like she had never heard his stories, never seen him laugh and never felt his warmth. Of course she was the one who was blind. She found herself waiting for him to return her call, sharing things with him that she had scarcely told herself...wondering if he still loved her. He made her come alive. She laughed and weeped at the same time. After 9 long years of their divorce, Padmini and Shishir were going out on a date.

She stood their at the bus stop...waiting for him to come. She smiled with happiness and joy as she saw him coming, he had a smile too. He came close and put his hand on her head and pursed his lips with a smile...it told her everything she wanted to hear, that it was alright. Everything was now alright. And then it rained.......!!

Wishes

I wish i could think of something to write

I wish i could fly

I wish i could eat and never grow fat

I wish there was no poverty

I wish i lived in Italy

I wish i had pots of money

I wish i had my own show to host

I wish i owned the world

I wish the world would go green

I wish i had studied more in school

I wish i can write a book

I wish i had a round bed

I wish he was close

I wish i could go on a never ending drive

I wish i could live a fairy tale of a life

I wish i owned a yacht

I wish i could adopt an orphan

I wish people didn't kill each other

I wish i could live my childhood again just for a day