"Its nice to go back to a place that has remained unaltered and see how you yourself have changed".....a few months back i went back to my college..had some work. This line kept playing in my head then, like a song that gets stuck in the head. It was overwhelming to see how life goes on...even after you...the canteen,the lecture rooms,the campus was all buzzing with life..with girls chattering just like we used to...everything was the same..except the eyes that watched all of this.
Change - i have always seen change as being 'beautiful. I think in images....so when i say change an image of a small bud comes to my mind..it slowly opens up, grows and a thousand colour petals..huge one's..sprout from it..that is how i see change. And yet, now when people tell me "God kasturi, you've changed" i dont like it. In school we used to write slambook enteries and say "never change", "be the same always", "you are so sweet, please dont change", to each other. Everyone changes, everyone grows up..then why do i have a problem with the change in me? Maybe because the colour of the petals in my case are subdued...are not bright and dazzling and attractive...they are sort of dull...unsure...hesitant...!!!
I dont desire to be a bud again, no, i just want the colours to cheer up a little..want my eyes to do patar patar the way they used to! Buttons eyes...small button like eyes is what i have..and yet someone once said "you have beautiful eyes, cause they are so lively...its like they have a life of their own". I just wish for that life to come back.
All this might sound terribly dull, like i am depressed or something..thats far from true. I am happier than i have ever been....lil joys, lil pains.....lil lil things to make my day...and someone to share all these lil things with. Life is beautiful....he makes it for me.
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